


Underneath it all

by Taraxacus



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Cuddles, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 10:51:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11804532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taraxacus/pseuds/Taraxacus
Summary: Vilde isn't sure what it is that she sees in Eva's eyes whenever they are looking her way. Vilde is in denial. But Eva maybe isn't.





	Underneath it all

**Author's Note:**

> With this I'm taking part to the Skam Week.
> 
> I love Evilde, it makes me so happy to think about them together, so so happy and warm and fuzzy! I hope you'll enjoy this oneshot. <3
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://dandelionstories.tumblr.com/)

When Vilde arrives, Eva is already there, and Vilde’s heart flutters.   
  
It’s a warm spring day, the first one after the rainiest April ever, and half the city seems to have decided to skip whatever they should be doing  - in Vilde’s and Eva’s case it’s school - and go the park instead.  
  
Vilde didn’t want to go at first.   
“We have a test on Friday”, she had protested when Eva had launched the idea, earlier that morning, sipping her coffee on the way to school..  
“So what?” Eva had shrugged, and then she had nudged Vilde softly, accidentally brushing her hair on Vilde’s cheek. “Let’s be rebels for today!”, she had added, winking and then laughing at Vilde’s frown.  
  
Vilde couldn’t erase the image all morning. Eva laughing, her hair catching the breeze, her eyes sparkling, and then, finally, her arm hooking Vilde’s.   
  
“Come on, Vilde”, she had pleaded. “Do it for me”.  
So of course Vilde had said yes.   
Yes was all she wanted to say to Eva, always, always.  
Eva had been happy. “Yay!” she had said, hugging Vilde tightly but briefly, oh too briefly. “Yay! I love you!”.  
Pang. Why? With so many things that could make Vilde’s heart pang, why three words that have no particular meaning, that are said in jest by a friend? I love you too, Eva, I love you too.  
“But…” Eva had stopped in her tracks, so abruptly that Vilde had stumbled. They were in front of school now, and already Vilde was feeling more tired, already she could feel her smile fade a bit, come off at the seams.   
So Vilde wasn’t paying attention to what Eva was doing, and when Eva’s hand landed on her face, she had jumped. “You must get rid of this”, Eva had said, soflty, and she had passed her thumb between Vilde’s eyebrows, she had brushed the skin there, and Vilde had blushed. She had blushed, but Eva hand’t commented on it. Instead, she had taken a step back and smiled.  
“Better!” she had said.  
“What?” Vilde had managed to mumble, but Eva had waved, “I’m heading for the park straight after English! See you there!” and she had run off, her hair copper brown in the soft morning sun.  
  
So now Vilde’s at the park, and Eva is there, too. Just Eva.   
She is lying on the grass, headphones on her ears, eyes closed and mouth slightly open, singing along whatever she is listening to.  
Vilde stops in her tracks. She stops, and her heart is booming in her chest, her blood is running so fast that it’s making her dizzy. She can’t move. Somehow, she can’t move.  
Where are the others? She was expecting Noora to be there, if not Sana, and Chris, for sure. Instead, it’s only Eva.  
How long has it been since they’ve been alone together? Weeks? Months? To Vilde, it feels like years.   
And now she’s here, and Eva is wearing a cropped t-shirt that shows soft peachy skin and her navel, and she’s wearing a jean skirt that might be Vilde’s fave, so much that Eva has offered it to her a thousand times.  
“I can see you drooling at it, Vilde!” she has said, the last time.   
“Vilde is crazy about clothes, more than she is about boys!” Noora had said, half joking and half being critical. Chris had laughed, but Sana had stayed silent, she had stayed silent and had looked Vilde straight in the eye. Vilde thinks sometimes she can’t stand Sana because of this, because of the power Sana has to not stop at anything but the truth.  
But Vilde doesn’t want anything to do with the truth. The truth is just hurt and nothing more, hurt and the delusion of getting a better deal from life. It’s much better to let of of the truth and to create your own story, and stick to it.  
  
However, lately Vilde has become less good at it. For example, suddenly, last Saturday, she couldn’t pretend with Magnus anymore. They were in bed, and he was tender and soft and caring, so caring, but Vilde had felt like puking, and she had started crying, and she couldn’t stop. So Magnus had held her in his arms, had stroked her hair, but Vilde had cried harder.   
In the end, Magnus had left her alone. He had gotten dressed, and had sat down on the bed. “Do you want me to call anybody, Vilde?”  
Vilde had nodded.  
“Who?”  
Eva. “Chris”.  
“Ok.”  
And so Vilde was now single again, and it didn’t feel all that bad. It didn’t feel good, either. Vilde didn’t feel anything.  
She didn’t feel anything, unless she was with Eva.  
  
And now Eva is here, and she is humming along with the music, and she’s smiling, and Vilde feels like crying, and she feels like laughing, and she feels.  
“Here you are!” Eva has opened her eyes, and she has seen her, and she’s sitting up, her arms open wide. “I was starting to think that you wouldn’t come”.  
Vilde smiles back, and it’s painfully stiffy. “Well, I shouldn’t have, but I’m here”.  
She ignores Eva’s opens arms and sits down in front of her. Eva pouts, and she moves so that their shoulders’ are touching.  
“I’m sorry for making you do things you don’t want to.”  
Vilde swallows, and her heart starts burning.  
“Well, maybe it’s just that I’m scared of doing them”. What?  
Eva’s eyes open wide. “Wow Vilde! Are you admitting you want to be a bad student like me?”  
“You aren’t a bad student.”  
Eva laughs, and her hair glistens. “I am though! I only got a 4- in English, I think this must be the best I can do. Jonas said that with his notes Isak has gotten a 6”.  
“Mh, Jonas”, Vilde says, and she doesn’t manage to keep the bitterness from her voice. “Don’t listen to him.”  
“Well, he’s right! I’ve been studying with them all winter, and look at where I am, getting 4 after 4, while they’re both geniuses!”  
“Well, Isak has Even to help him with literature and shit” Vilde says, “and Jonas is so arrogant, I bet that makes for half his marks.”  
“Jonas isn’t arrogant, Vilde!” Eva looks disappointed now, and Vilde feels like shit. Good. She has been here five minutes, and Eva is already regretting it.  
“Sorry”, she says, not looking at Eva.  
Eva pokes her gently.  
“I guess he can seem arrogant, though.”  
Vilde smiles weakly.  
“It’s just…” she starts playing with the grass, pulling at some leaves and rolling them between her fingers. “You shouldn’t… he shouldn’t… I think you’re clever, Eva. You are intelligent and you could get your 5s and 6s every single time. It’s only a matter of organization.”  
Eva laughs, and Vilde is a bit hurt. But when she raises her head, Eva’s gaze is nothing but soft.   
Soft and warm and full. Full to the brink. Full of something Vilde can’t name.  
“Ok” Eva says, and she takes Vilde’s right hand in hers. “Until the end of the school year, I’ll count on you, Vilde Hellerund. I’ll ditch those smelly boys and cling on you, if you think you can teach me a bit how to be organized like you are.”  
“Ha ha”, Vilde laughs, and she feels happy and sad at the same time. But Eva remains serious.  
“I’m not joking! But I get it, if you don’t want to burden yourself with me…”  
“No, no, no!” Vilde   
“It’s a deal, then.”  
“It’s a deal.”  
“And what do you want in return?”  
“Mh?”  
“I’m not having you work for free, Vilde! There must be something you want from me!”  
Vilde’s heart skips one, two, three beats. There’ a lump in her throat. I want what you give to Jonas. What are you giving Jonas, Eva?   
“So?”  
Eva is looking at her so earnestly that Vilde can’t look away, and there is something underneath, there is something, that something again, that something that scares Vilde and makes her want to run away, and at the same time it makes her want to scream, and it makes her want to…  
“Come to the wedding with me.”  
“Mh?”  
“Come to my cousin’s wedding party with me. Next Saturday.”  
“As your date?”  
“What?” Vilde is sweating now. Her heart is booming booming booming in her chest.  
“As your date?”. Eva is serious.   
“Yeah, yeah” Vilde says. “As my fake date, so nobody will ask questions about Magnus.”  
Eva’s eyes darken for a second, and Vilde knows she must have broken something, she knows, but it’s OK, it wasn’t something she could have anyway.  
But then Eva’s eyes sparkle again, and she is wearing the softest smile on her lips.  
“Fake date it is!”. She takes Vilde’s hand and intertwines their fingers. “It won’t be hard.”   
Vilde doesn’t know who she is or where or anything anymore.  
She doesn’t speak.  
Eva doesn’t seem to notice.  
They lie down and listen to music.  
Eva never takes her hand away.  
Vilde is floating, and the cool earth is friendly for once. The cool earth is absorbing all the darkness from inside Vilde, and all that’s left is Eva’s warm hand, and the music, and their bodies lying close in the sun.  
Just for today. Just for today.  
  
****  
  
The wedding takes place in a very fancy hotel in central Oslo. The Radisson Blue is always intimidating to Vilde, but today it’s positively scary.   
She is wearing her favorite dress, the white one with the yellow flowers, and she has a thin golden circlet in her hair. Magnus had wanted her to wear another dress, the green and pink one with the plunging neckline, but she isn’t going to the wedding with him, she’s going with Eva, and Eva isn’t a fancy dress kind of girl.  
Well, not that Vilde should compare the two situations, going to a wedding with her boyfriend, and going with a friend. It’s two completely different scenarios. Friend. Lover. Very different.  
She sits down in a comfy armchair. She isn’t looking directly at the entrance, but Eva should spot her anywhere, and if not she’d call.  
Vilde looks at the time. It’s a bit late.   
“All alone, dear?” One of her aunts is standing in front of her, all high heels and expensive parfume. Vilde smiles brightly, and stands up to kiss her aunt. She then sits down again, and laughs, bubbly and sweet. “No, aunt, of course not! I’m just waiting.”  
“Mh”, her aunt says. “And you mum?”  
“Oh, she’s so sorry, but she’s busy with work, so busy. She really couldn’t make it.”  
“I see” her aunt answers, and she looks like she’s going to inquire further, but then she stops and her eyes go wide. Vilde turns around to see what’s happening, and there she is. It’s Eva.  
She is wearing a red dress. She is wearing a red sleeveless dress. She is wearing a red dress with a plunging neckline. She is wearing high heels, and her hair up in braids, and she is smiling, oh she is smiling so bright that the whole room is sparkling.  
“Vilde!” she says, while she hops towards her, “Sorry, I’m terrible, it has taken me ages to put my make up on, mum has had to help me.”  
Vilde’s aunt looks Eva up and down, but Vilde is just still. She might have her mouth open, but she can’t move a muscle, she can’t even breathe. She’s cracking. She is…  
“Hi, I’m Eva. Are you one of Vilde’s aunts?”  
What?  
“Yes, yes. I’m her father’s younger sister.”  
“Hi. Do you happen to work in retail?”  
“Yes, yes I do.”  
“Ok, because my mum has seen you when she has dropped me here and she told me she thinks she knows you. My mum is senior manager for A&T.”  
“Ha!”. Vilde’s aunt goes all flustered, and her demeanor shifts noticeably. “Is you mother Ms. Mohn?”  
“That’s her, yes!”  
They keep taking for a couple of minutes, Vilde’s aunt more and more impressed, and Eva standing between her and Vilde, and Vilde slowly getting it together. Of course, Eva is rich. She doesn’t act like it, but she’s rich. Not asshole-William level of wealth, but still rich. Her aunt is so impressed she’s drooling.  
  
“Vilde, dear, such lovely friends you have! I have to go now but we’ll chat more later!”.  
Eva smiles, but as soon as Vilde’s aunt is out of sight she collapses on the armrest, leaning on Vilde, her hair in Vilde’s face, her arms around her shoulders.  
“Wow, exhausting!”  
“What are you doing?” Vilde says, brusque, and Eva straightens up. “Don’t smudge your make up all over me!”. Why? Why is she acting like this? What is she doing?  
“Sorry, sorry!” Eva laughs, and she straightens, but she keeps her arm around Vilde’s shoulders. Vilde’s shoulders, that are now burning. Why aren’t you going away, Eva? I am not smiling right now. Why are you staying? Why are you smiling so wide? What is this thing I can see in you eyes?  
“Shall we go inside?”  
Vilde can only nod. Then Eva stands up, putting some distance, some air between them, and Vilde shivers at the loss. But Eva smooths Vilde’s hair, “Sorry I made you headpiece all wonky”, and she takes Vilde’s hand in hers. “Let’s go then!” she says, and Vilde, Vilde tries desperately to smile, to put on her signature smile, but she can’t. She can’t tell any story anymore. She can just try to keep up with Eva, she can just try to keep up with life now, in this moment, as it’s happening, as Eva’s hand feels so warm and strong around hers, as Eva’s hair shine while she’s walking half a step ahead, smiling for both of them, being bubbly for both of them, keeping up for both of them Vilde’s pretence that it’s normal for Vilde’s mother not to be there.  
  
****  
  
When Eva drags her to the dance floor, Vilde is laughing, for real. When Eva wraps her arms around Vilde’s waist, Vilde is all giggly, for real. When Eva brushes Vilde’s cheek with her own, Vilde’s heart skips a beat, for real. And then it skips another. And another.  
  
When Eva tightens her hold, and sighs in Vilde’s neck, Vilde raises a hand. Just one. She raises her hand, and strokes Eva’s back. Slowly. Slowly. Just with the fingertips, at first.  
  
Vilde’s aunt is probably looking, and creating a story to tell everybody, to gossip about, but this time Vilde doesn’t care.   
  
Vilde is too busy living.  
  
So she strokes Eva’s back, and Eva sighs again, and she brushes the softest kiss on Vilde’s earlobe. Vilde turns her head, slowly, slowly, until Eva’s lips are on her cheek, right on the side of her mouth.  
It seems that Eva has stopped breathing, too. But she holds Vilde tighter, tighter, tighter.  
So Vilde turns her head another inch, another bit, and it’s enough for Eva’s lips to land on her mouth, and they both shiver, and they both melt.  
When Vilde raises her other hand and cups Eva’s neck, Eva opens her lips, just a little, and she tilts her head, just an inch. And Vilde presses. She presses her hand on the small of Eva’s back, she presses her lips on Eva’s lips, and the world starts spinning, spinning so fast that Vilde is going dizzy, that Vilde is almost falling, and then, all of the sudden, it stops.  
It stops exisisting.   
  
The world outside doesn’t exist anymore, with its hurt and pain and shame, the world has shrunk and it’s the size of Eva, now. The size of Eva’s hips, the size of Eva’s lips, the size of Eva’s tongue that’s caressing Vilde’s mouth and making promises.   
  
Vilde is holding Eva in her arms, and Eva is holding Vilde in hers, and finally happiness takes the stage, finally life feels right, finally Vilde lets herself feel.   
And when they’ll stop kissing, and they’ll open her eyes, she knows she will be able to recognize what’s in Eva’s gaze, what’s underneath her smiles and underneath their friendship and underneath it all, because it’s the same thing that has been there in Vilde’s heart this all time.   
  
The same love.  
  
  
  



End file.
